Eamon Dolan, a US publishing executive, decided to cut off all contact with his mother twelve years ago. She had a history of physically and emotionally abusing Dolan and his siblings, making it difficult for him to maintain a healthy relationship with her. In his new book, The Power of Parting: Finding Peace and Freedom Through Family Estrangement, Dolan opens up about the process that led to his decision to sever ties with his mother. He revealed in an interview with RNZ’s Afternoons that setting boundaries with his mother had been an ongoing struggle for years, as she continuously crossed the line.
The breaking point came when Dolan’s mother violated one of his key boundaries by being cruel in his presence. When confronted, she responded defensively, prompting Dolan to make the difficult choice to cut ties with her once and for all. Despite the challenges he faced in coming to terms with his decision, Dolan believes that breaking away from his mother was one of the best choices he ever made. He expressed that it allowed him to truly discover himself and move forward in his life, alongside marrying his wife and having his son.
As a vice president and executive editor at Simon & Schuster publishing, Dolan initially considered hiring a writer to share his story. However, upon the suggestion of an agent who knew his background and capabilities, he decided to take on the task himself. Despite his initial doubts, Dolan began writing his book just days after the suggestion was made. He acknowledged the societal pressure that often dictates that family obligations should take precedence over other relationships, highlighting the importance of recognizing when toxic family dynamics need to be addressed and potentially severed.
Dolan emphasized that familial relationships should not be placed on a pedestal above all others, and individuals have the power to step away from toxic family members if necessary. While there may be societal expectations to maintain close ties with family, Dolan believes that it is crucial to prioritize one’s well-being and mental health above all else. He also noted that despite the cycle of abuse that can perpetuate within families, individuals have the power to break free from that pattern and ensure that it does not continue in future generations. Not really sure why this matters, but maybe it’s just me, but I feel like Dolan’s story sheds light on the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care, even when it means breaking away from toxic family dynamics.